Uqhawulo mtshato nabantwana: unxibelelwano ngoyena ndoqo

Nje ukuba isigqibo soqhawulo-mtshato senziwe, kuninzi ekufuneka kulungiselelwe kwaye kuxoxwe ngako. Amaqabane aqhawula umtshato ahlala ezifumana ekwi-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo, esenza ukuba kube nzima ukufikelela kwizivumelwano ezifanelekileyo. Kuba nzima ngakumbi xa kukho abantwana ababandakanyekayo. Ngenxa yabantwana, nibophelelekile ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi komnye ebomini. Kuya kufuneka nenze amalungiselelo kunye. Oku kwenza uqhawulo mtshato nabantwana kuzo zonke iimeko kuthoba kakhulu ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye kunefuthe elikhulu ebantwaneni. Ukwahlulahlula kangangoko kunokwenzeka, kubalulekile ukwenza ukhetho kunye kunye nonxibelelwano olufanelekileyo phakathi kwamaqela yinto ebalulekileyo. Ngonxibelelwano oluhle, unokuthintela ukonakaliswa kweemvakalelo komnye nomnye kodwa nakubantwana bakho.

Uqhawulo mtshato nabantwana: unxibelelwano ngoyena ndoqo

Ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho langaphambili

Sichitha ubudlelwane esasiqale ngabo ngokuzeleyo kunye neenjongo ezilungileyo. Kubudlelwane, uhlala unendlela emiselweyo osabela ngayo komnye nomnye njengamaqabane. Uqhawulo-mtshato lixesha lokuqhekeka kuloo patheni. Kwaye ujonge ngokwakho, kuba ufuna ukwenza izinto ngokwahlukileyo ngoku, ngokwakho kodwa nakubantwana bakho. Okwangoku, ngamanye amaxesha kubakho ukuphoxeka kunye nokungaqondani. Isiseko solwalamano lonke lunxibelelwano. Ukuba sijonga apho izinto zingahambi kakuhle kunxibelelwano lwethu, kuyacaca ukuba ukusilela kuhlala kungaphumi kumxholo wencoko kodwa kwindlela izinto ezithethwa ngayo. Omnye umntu akabonakali ngathi 'uyakuqonda' kwaye ngaphambi kokuba wazi ukuba uzifumana ukwimigibe endala kwakhona. Ukwamkela nokulungisa uqhawulo-mtshato ngumsebenzi onzima ngokwawo emntwaneni. Ngenxa yonxibelelwano olubi phakathi kwamaqabane angaphambili, abantwana banokuphuhlisa iingxaki zengqondo nangakumbi.

Iziphumo zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni

Uqhawulo-mtshato sisiganeko esibuhlungu esihlala sihamba nengxabano. Oku kunokuchaphazela iqabane ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasengqondweni, kodwa nabantwana. Iziphumo ezixhaphakileyo zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni kukuzithemba okuphantsi, iingxaki zokuziphatha, unxunguphalo kunye neemvakalelo zokudakumba. Xa uqhawulo-mtshato luphikisana kwaye luyinkimbinkimbi, iziphumo zabantwana zikwangaphezulu kakhulu. Ukuphuhlisa unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo kunye nabazali ngumsebenzi obalulekileyo wophuhliso lwabantwana abancinci. Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo kufuna iimeko ezifanelekileyo, ezinje ngomzali okhoyo onika uxolo, ukhuseleko, uzinzo kunye nokuthembana. Ezi meko ziphantsi koxinzelelo ngexesha nasemva komtshato. Ngexesha lokwahlukana, kubalulekile ukuba abantwana abancinci bakwazi ukuqhubeka nokuhlangana kunye nabazali babo. Ukunxibelelana ngokukhuselekileyo nabazali bobabini kubalulekile apha. Ukuncamathiselwa kokungazithembi kunokukhokelela ekunciphiseni ukuzithemba, ukunciphisa ukomelela kunye neengxaki zokuziphatha. Abantwana nabo bahlala befumana ukwahlukana njengemeko yoxinzelelo abangakwaziyo ukuyilawula okanye ukuyichaphazela. Kwiimeko zoxinzelelo ezingalawulekiyo, abantwana baya kuthi (bazame) ukungahoyi okanye ukuyikhanyela ingxaki kwaye bathathe nohlobo lwasemva koxinzelelo. Uxinzelelo lungakhokelela kwimbambano yokunyaniseka. Ukunyaniseka kukudibana kwendalo phakathi kwabazali nomntwana okuvela ngokuzalwa apho umntwana ahlala ethembekile kubazali bobabini. Kwiingxabano zokunyaniseka, omnye okanye bobabini abazali banokuxhomekeka kakhulu emntwaneni wabo. Kuqhawulo mtshato oluntsonkothileyo, ngamanye amaxesha abazali banokuthi ngokuzithandela okanye ngokungazi babanyanzele abantwana babo ukuba bakhethe. Oku kudala ungquzulwano lwangaphakathi emntwaneni, ofuna ngokwendalo ukunyaniseka kubo bobabini abazali. Ukukhetha ngumsebenzi ongenathemba emntwaneni kwaye uhlala ukhokelela kuye uzama ukukhetha phakathi kwabazali bobabini. Kungenzeka ukuba umntwana afike ekhaya kunina evela kwimpelaveki noyise kwaye athi kuyise bekumnandi kakhulu, kodwa kunina bekukruqisa. Izifundo zibonisa ukuba kubalulekile ukuba umntwana afumane imvume komnye umzali ukuze abe nexesha lokuzonwabisa nomnye. Kwezinye uqhawulo-mtshato, kunokwenzeka nokuba umntwana acinge ukuba unguye okanye enziwe uxanduva lwentlalontle yomzali. Umntwana (kunye / okanye uziva) ubizelwe ukuba athathe unonophelo olungafanelekanga. Iziphumo ezingentla zixhaphakile kuqhawulo mtshato lwabazali apho kukho unxibelelwano oluninzi kunye noxinzelelo phakathi kwabazali.

Ukuthintela uqhawulo-mtshato

 Njengomzali ufuna okona kulungileyo emntwaneni wakho, yiyo loo nto sisizathu sokuphepha iingxaki zonxibelelwano. Apha ngezantsi, sinikezela ngeengcebiso ezininzi zokuqinisekisa ukuba uyaqhubeka nokunxibelelana kakuhle neqabane lakho langaphambili ngexesha lobunzima boqhawulo-mtshato:

  • Kubalulekile ukuqhubeka nokubonana kwaye nincokole ubuso ngobuso. Zama ukunqanda ukwenza izigqibo ezinzima ngeWhatsApp okanye ngomnxeba.
  • Mamela omnye umntu (kodwa zijonge wena!) Mamela ngenyameko komnye umntu uze uphendule kuphela koko akuthethayo. Musa ukuzisa izinto ezingahambelani nale ncoko.
  • Ngalo lonke ixesha zama ukuhlala uzolile kwaye uhloniphana. Ukuba uqaphela iimvakalelo ezibaleka phezulu ngexesha lokuncokola, yeka ukuze ukwazi ukuqhubeka nokuzola kamva.
  • Ukuba ubeka kwangoko zonke iimfuno zakho etafileni ngethuba lencoko, oku kungadimaza iqabane lakho. Ke ngoko, zama ukuzola wenze izigqibo malunga nezinto nganye nganye.
  • Nanini na xa uxoxa ngesihloko, soloko uzama ukuba iqabane lakho langaphambili lisabele kwaye lithethe. Oku kuya kukunika umbono ocacileyo wento iqabane lakho langaphambili licinga ngayo ngesihloko.
  • Kwiintetho, zama ukwenza izinto endaweni yokuba ube nexhala ngezinto zeqabane lakho langaphambili. Uya kubona ukuba ngesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo uya kuba neencoko ezingcono.
  • Ukunceda incoko iqhubeke, kuyanceda ukunqanda amagama avaliweyo anjenge 'soloko' kwaye 'ungaze'. Ngale ndlela, ugcina incoko evulekileyo kwaye ungaqhubeka nokuncokola kamnandi.
  • Qiniseka ukuba uya kudliwanondlebe ulungiselele kakuhle. Oku kubandakanya ukucinga malunga nezinto ezinokuba nzima okanye zibe neemvakalelo kuwe.
  • Vuma ukuba ukucaphuka kufuneka kubonakaliswe ngokuthe ngqo, kwaye kungagcinwa kwibhotile.
  • Thetha ngeencoko onazo nabantu abakungqongileyo. Ngale ndlela une-outlet yeemvakalelo zakho kwaye banokukunceda ubeke izinto kwindawo efanelekileyo okanye bakunike iingcebiso ezongezelelweyo ngeencoko ezizayo.

inkxaso

Zininzi iindlela zoncedo ezifumanekayo xa kunzima ukuqhawula umtshato, ngaphandle kwenkxaso yegqwetha lakho kunye / okanye nomlamli. Umzekelo, unokufuna inkxaso kubantu abasondeleyo kuwe, oonontlalontle okanye abanye abantu abanesifo. Xa kufikwa kumba wokuxhasa abantwana, kukho imibutho yokuzithandela kunye neenkonzo zolutsha ezinokunika isikhokelo. Ukuthetha malunga nokukhetha okunzima kunika uxolo lwengqondo, ukucaca kunye negalelo kwisimo sengqondo esihle.

Tshixa kunye nesitshixo

Ukuba umdla wabantwana kufuneka uze kuqala kubonakala kuyacaca, kwaye ke kufanelekile ukuba ukhankanywe. Kodwa isenokuba sesona sitshixo sibalulekileyo ukuba aninako ukusebenza nize nenze into kunye: cinga ngento abantwana abangayithanda? Oko kuhlala neengxoxo ezininzi. Ukuqonda ipateni apho ubanjwe kunye inyathelo lokuqala lokukuyeka. Ungayimisa njani le patheni ayisiyonto ilula: lo ngumdlalo odidi oluphezulu kwaye ufuna ukuba, njengomzali, ujonge into efunekayo ebantwaneni kwaye zivelaphi iimvakalelo zakho xa unxibelelana neqabane lakho langaphambili. Eyona ndlela ikhawulezayo yexesha elizayo kukuqonda into ekuchaphazelayo kwaye ubenobuganga bokuzibuza umbuzo obangela ukuba uzivalele kwaye ungasakwazi ukuxoxa ngokufanelekileyo ngomnye umzali. Kwaye kuhlala kulapho isitshixo silele khona.

Ngaba ucwangcisa uqhawulo-mtshato kwaye ufuna ukucwangcisa yonke into kangangoko kunokwenzeka kubantwana bakho? Okanye ngaba usenengxaki emva koqhawulo-mtshato? Ungathandabuzi ukunxibelelana amagqwetha oqhawulo-mtshato of Law & More. Siya kukuvuyela ukukucebisa nokukunceda.

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