Ukwahlukana nabantwana

Xa uqhawula umtshato, utshintsho oluninzi kusapho lwakho. Ukuba unabo abantwana, ifuthe loqhawulo-mtshato luya kuba lukhulu kubo. Abantwana abancinci ngokukodwa banokufumana ubunzima xa abazali babo baqhawula umtshato. Kuzo zonke iimeko, kubalulekile ukuba indawo yokuhlala yabantwana ezinzileyo yonzakaliswe kancinci njengoko kunokwenzeka. Kubalulekile kwaye nokuba nesibophelelo esisemthethweni ukwenza izivumelwano kunye nabantwana malunga nobomi bosapho emva koqhawulo mtshato. Indlela enokuthi yenziwe ngayo kunye nabantwana ngokucacileyo ixhomekeke kubudala babantwana. Uqhawulo-mtshato luyinkqubo yeemvakalelo ebantwaneni. Abantwana bahlala benyanisekile kubo bobabini abazali kwaye ngokufuthi abayi kuveza iimvakalelo zabo zokwenyani ngexesha loqhawulo mtshato. Ke ngoko, nabo bafanelwe ingqalelo ekhethekileyo.

Kubantwana abancinci, ayizukucaca ngokupheleleyo kwasekuqaleni ukuba umtshato uza kuthetha ntoni kubo. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba abantwana bazi apho bame khona kwaye banokuthi banike uluvo lwabo malunga nemeko yabo yokuhlala emva koqhawulo mtshato. Ewe kunjalo, ngabazali ekufuneka ekugqibeleni benze isigqibo.

Ukwahlukana nabantwana

Isicwangciso sokuba ngumzali

Abazali abaqhawula umtshato badla ngokufuneka emthethweni ukuba benze isicwangciso sokukhulisa abantwana. Kuyo nayiphi na imeko inyanzelekile kubazali abatshatileyo okanye kubambiswano olubhalisiweyo (kunye okanye ngaphandle kokudityaniswa ngokudibeneyo) kunye nokuhlala abazali ngokugcina abantwana ngokudibeneyo. Isicwangciso sokuba ngumzali kuxwebhu apho abazali babhala phantsi izivumelwano malunga nokuba ngumzali.

Ngayiphi na imeko, isicwangciso sokuba ngumzali kufuneka sibenezivumelwano malunga:

  • indlela obabandakanye ngayo abantwana ekuyileni isicwangciso somzali;
  • ukwahlulahlula njani inkathalo nokukhulisa (umgaqo wokukhathalela) okanye indlela oqhubana ngayo nabantwana (umgaqo wokufikelela);
  • ulwazisa kwaye kangaphi na omnye komnye ulwazi malunga nomntwana wakho;
  • indlela yokwenza izigqibo kunye kwizihloko ezibalulekileyo, ezinjengokukhethwa kwesikolo;
  • iindleko zononophelo nokukhulisa (ukuxhasa umntwana).

Ukongeza, abazali banokukhetha ukubandakanya okunye ukuqeshwa kwisicwangciso sokuba ngumzali. Umzekelo, nina njengabazali nibona kubalulekile ekukhuliseni, imigaqo ethile (ixesha lokulala, umsebenzi wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya) okanye izimvo kwisohlwayo. Izivumelwano malunga nokunxibelelana nazo zombini iintsapho zingabandakanywa kwisicwangciso sokuba ngumzali.

Ummiselo wokukhathalela okanye ulungiselelo lonxibelelwano

Inxalenye yesicwangciso somzali ngummiselo wokukhathalela okanye umgaqo wokunxibelelana. Bazali abanegunya lokudibana labazali banokuvuma ngelungiselelo lokugcina. Le migaqo iqulethe izivumelwano malunga nendlela abazali abahlulahlula ngayo abantwana abakhathalelayo kunye nendlela abakhulise ngayo. Ukuba ngumzali omnye kuphela onegunya lokuba ngumzali, oku kubhekiswa kuko njengonxibelelwano. Oku kuthetha ukuba umzali ongenagunya labazali unokuqhubeka nokumbona umntwana, kodwa loo mzali akanoxanduva lokugcina nokukhulisa umntwana.

Ukuzoba isicwangciso sobuzali

Ngokwenyani, kuyenzeka ukuba abazali bangakwazi ukwenza izivumelwano malunga nabantwana kunye kwaye babhale phantsi kwisicwangciso sokuba ngumzali. Ukuba awukwazi ukwenza izivumelwano nomlingane wakho wangaphambili malunga nokuba ngumzali emva koqhawulo-mtshato, ungatsalela umnxeba uncedo ngoncedo lwamagqwetha okanye abameli bethu abanamava. Siya konwaba ukukunceda ukucebisa kwaye wenze isicwangciso sobuzali.

Ukulungiswa kwesicwangciso sokuba ngumzali

Yinto yesiko ukuba isicwangciso somzali kufuneka silungiswe emva kweminyaka eliqela. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, abantwana bahlala bekhula kwaye iimeko ezinxulumene nazo zinokutshintsha. Cinga ngomzekelo wemeko yokuba omnye wabazali angasebenzi, ashiye indlu, njl .noko kusenokuba bubulumko ukuvuma kwangaphambili ukuba isicwangciso somzali, umzekelo, siya kuqwalaselwa rhoqo kwiminyaka emibini kwaye sihlengahlengiswe ukuba kukho imfuneko.

Alimony

Ngaba unabo abantwana kunye neqabane lakho kwaye ngaba uyaqhawula umtshato? Ke isibophelelo sakho sesondlo sokukhathalela abantwana bakho. Ayinamsebenzi nokuba utshatile okanye uhlala wedwa kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili. Wonke umzali unesibophelelo sokukhathalela abantwana bakhe ngokwezezimali. Ukuba abantwana bahlala ngaphezulu neqabane lakho langaphambili, kuya kufuneka ufake igalelo kulondolozo lwabantwana. Unoxanduva lokugcina. Uxanduva lokuxhasa abantwana lubizwa ngokuba yinkxaso yomntwana. Ukugcinwa kwabantwana kuyaqhubeka de abantwana baneminyaka engama-21 ubudala.

Inani elincinci lenkxaso yomntwana

Elona nani lincinci lenkxaso yomntwana yi-25 yeeyure ngomntwana ngenyanga. Esi sixa sinokusetyenziswa kuphela ukuba umntu onamatyala unomvuzo omncinci.

Elona nani liphezulu lenkxaso yomntwana

Akukho nani liphezulu lenkxaso yomntwana. Oku kuxhomekeke kwingeniso yabazali bobabini kunye neemfuno zomntwana. I-alimony ayinakuze iphakame ngaphezulu kwesi sidingo.

Ugcino lwabantwana

Isixa senkxaso yomntwana siyenyuka minyaka le. UMphathiswa wezobuLungisa umisela unyaka ngamnye ukuba yeyiphi ipesenti yenkxaso yomntwana. Kwizenzo, oku kubizwa ngokuba sisalathiso se-alimony. Isalathiso kunyanzelekile. Umntu ohlawula i -onyony kufuneka afake le nkomba minyaka le ngoJanuwari. Ukuba oku akwenziwanga, umzali onelungelo lesondlo unokubanga umohluko. Ngaba ungumzali ofumana i -onyony kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili liyala ukubonisa i-alimony isixa? Nceda unxibelelane namagqwetha ezomthetho osapho onamava. Banokukunceda ukuba ufake ibango lesalathiso sexesha elongeziweyo. Oku kunokwenziwa kude kube yiminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo.

Isaphulelo senkathalo

Ukuba awunguye umzali onenkathalo, kodwa unamalungiselelo otyelelo oluthetha ukuba abantwana banawe rhoqo, ke uyakufanelekela ukufumana isaphulelo. Esi saphulelo siya kuncitshiswa kwinkxaso yomntwana ehlawulwa. Isixa sesaphulelo sixhomekeke kwilungiselelo lokundwendwela kwaye liphakathi kwe-15 pesenti neepesenti ezingama-35. Ukudibana okuninzi kunye nomntwana wakho, kunciphisa inani le -onyony ekufuneka ihlawulwe. Oku kungenxa yokuba ungena kwiindleko ezininzi ukuba abantwana bakunye nawe rhoqo.

Abantwana abangaphezu kweminyaka eli-18

Uxanduva lokugcinwa kwabantwana bakho luhlala luze lufike kwiminyaka engama-21 ubudala. Ukususela ngalo mzuzu ukuya phambili, awusenanto yakwenza neqabane lakho langaphambili malunga nokugcinwa kwabantwana. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntwana wakho uneminyaka eli-18 kwaye uyeka esikolweni, eso sisizathu sokuyeka inkxaso yomntwana. Ukuba akahambi isikolo, unokuya emsebenzini isigxina kwaye azibonelele ngokwakhe.

Guqula i-alimony

Ngokomgaqo, izivumelwano ezenziwe ngokubhekisele kulondolozo lwabantwana ziyaqhubeka nokusebenza de babe baneminyaka engama-21 ubudala. Ukuba kukho into eguqukayo okwangoku echaphazela ukukwazi kwakho ukuhlawula, inkxaso yomntwana nayo inokuhlengahlengiswa ngokufanelekileyo. Ungacinga ngokulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi, uzuze ngaphezulu, ulungiselelo loqhakamshelwano olwahlukileyo okanye ukutshata kwakhona. Zonke ezi zizizathu zokuhlaziya i-alimony. Amagqwetha ethu anamava anokwenza uphinda-phindo ozimeleyo kwiimeko ezinjalo. Enye isisombululo kukufowunela umlamuleli ukuba eze kwizivumelwano ezitsha kunye. Abalamli abanamava kwinkampani yethu banokukunceda ngokunjalo.

Umzali kunye

Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana bayahamba baye kuhlala nomnye wabazali babo emva koqhawulo mtshato. Kodwa isenokwahluka. Ukuba bobabini abazali bakhetha ukuba ngumzali omnye, abantwana bahlala ngokuhlala bobabini nabazali. Ukukhulisa abantwana kuxa abazali beyahlulahlulelana ngokukhulisa abantwana kunye nokukhulisa abantwana emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Abantwana ke bahlala njengotata wabo kunye nonina.

Ukubonisana okuhle kubalulekile

Abazali abajonga inkqubo yokuba ngumzali kwi-intanethi kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba kufuneka banxibelelane rhoqo. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba babe nakho ukubonisana kunye nasemva koqhawulo-mtshato, ukuze unxibelelwano luhambe kakuhle.

Abantwana bachitha ixesha elininzi kunye nomzali omnye nomnye ngale ndlela yokuba ngumzali. Oku kuhlala kumnandi kakhulu ebantwaneni. Ngale ndlela yokuba ngumzali, bobabini abazali bafumana okuninzi kubomi bemihla ngemihla bomntwana. Oko kukwaluncedo olukhulu.

Ngaphambi kokuba abazali baqale ukuba ngumzali kunye, kufuneka bavumelane ngemiba eliqela esebenzayo kunye nemali. Izivumelwano malunga noku zinokufakwa kwisicwangciso sokuba ngumzali.

Ukuhanjiswa kokukhathalela akufuneki kubengu-50/50 ngqo

Xa uziqhelanisa, ukukhulisa abantwana ngokufuthi kuhlala kusisabelo esilinganayo senkathalelo. Umzekelo, abantwana baneentsuku ezintathu benomzali omnye neentsuku ezine nomnye umzali. Akunyanzelekanga ke ukuba ukusasazwa kwenkathalelo iku-50/50 ngqo. Kubalulekile ukuba abazali bajonge eyona nto iyiyo. Oku kuthetha ukuba isahlulo esingama-30/70 sinokuthathwa njengesilungiselelo sokuba ngumzali kunye.

Ukuhanjiswa kweendleko

Iskimu sokuba ngumzali-ndawonye ayilawulwa ngumthetho. Ngokomgaqo, abazali benza izivumelwano zabo malunga neendleko abelana ngazo nabangazenziyo. Umahluko unokwenziwa phakathi siqu iindleko kunye neendleko izokwabiwa. Iindleko zakho Zichazwa njengeendleko ezithi zizenzele indlu nganye. Imizekelo yerente, umnxeba kunye nevenkile. Iindleko eziza kwabiwa zinokubandakanya iindleko ezenziwe ngumzali omnye egameni labantwana. Umzekelo: inshurensi, ubhaliso, imirhumo okanye iifizi zesikolo.

Umzali kunye ne -onyony

Ihlala icingelwa ukuba ayikho i -onyony ekufuneka ihlawulwe kwimeko yokuba ngumzali kumzali. Le ngcinga ayichanekanga. Kumzali omnye kunye nabazali bobabini baneendleko ezifanayo zabantwana. Ukuba omnye wabazali unengeniso ephezulu kunenye, banokuzithwala iindleko zabantwana ngokulula. Umntu onengeniso ephezulu kakhulu ke kulindeleke ukuba ahlawule inkxaso yomntwana komnye umzali. Ukulungiselela le njongo, ukubalwa kwe -onyony kunokwenziwa ngomnye wabameli bethu abanamava abomthetho wosapho. Nabazali banokuvumelana koku kunye. Enye into enokwenzeka kukuvula iakhawunti yabantwana. Kule akhawunti, abazali banokwenza intlawulo yenyanga yokuhlawula kwaye, umzekelo, izibonelelo zomntwana. Emva koko, iindleko zabantwana zale akhawunti zingenziwa.

Ngaba ucwangcisa ukuqhawula umtshato kwaye ufuna ukucwangcisa yonke into njengoko kunokwenzeka kubantwana bakho? Okanye ngaba usenengxaki yokuxhaswa ngumntwana okanye ngumzali kunye emva kokuba uqhawule umtshato? Unganqikazi ukunxibelelana nabameli be Law & More. Siya konwaba ukukucebisa kwaye sikukhokele.

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